Think, Christy! Think!

When was the last time I wrote something here? Oops, more than a month ago. Well, I don't have much to explain, other than I've been too caught up with... just college, in general. But, hey! My assignments are all completed for this semester, I am on a study break (in which I should be studying, but I can't be bothered to read another 200 pages of 'How To Start A Flipping Business'), and after my final exam, that will be in the next two weeks, I will be a free bird. Okay, maybe not a bird. But, you get my point. I GET IT! I hate reading posts that keep talking about 'Why I've been gone' or 'I'm gonna have more free time' and the writer ends up disappearing for another few months. It is ugly and cringey. Frankly, what isn't cringey on this whole blog? I tend to read back on older post and think to myself on why I even decided to included a snippet, or post a certain topic here. Which also leads me to think why I disclosed this webs...

It is a casual, lazy and warm Tuesday afternoon. I just got off from a phone call with my friend, and decided to write down the context that I had ranted to her. This may not be a great post, but I wanted to note down all these boring and yet crazy little things that happen to me. Remember that ex I kept mentioning in previous blogposts? Yeah, okay, I'm sure you ALL know who this person is very clearly, as I got too repetitive at one point.  Well, guess what? I have another stupid story to vent out. Let's call him... Richard. I thought of Corney at first, but nah, Richard will do. Ever since the breakup, seeing Richard passing by me in the campus has been extremely embarrassing and awkward. Lesson number one, do not date anyone in your school or workplace, or in your friends' group. But as a few weeks passed, his presence didn't bother me as much, and seeing him around turned into a norm. We were just super friendly and casual with each other for an instant,...

23rd February 2018 Days like today are the ones that make me feel like trash. I just cannot understand myself. Just as I thought I am capable, I broke down all of a sudden. I had to call my younger brother and commanded him to come all the way to the my location, in front of a bank and a street of food stalls, just to accompany me. Talk about being independent.  I stood in the lobby of the bank with all eyes on me, searching for the enquiry counter to get a number. I freaked out as I could not find the counter and the workers would not reply to my question. I felt unwanted, uncomfortable and small. I stumbled my way out of the bank and waited for my brother to arrive. I am the worst liar. I sounded so sure when I stepped out of the house. And in less than half an hour, he had to see me fragile and weak. I can never blame others for my distress. Banks have strict regulations and procedures to follow, the workers must turn me down, even though I was lost as I did not follow t...

I left them in the dust and did not have the heart to keep them alive. In my eyes, they were dead either ways. Their stems are soft. Water retention swelled up in its middle, as the ends start to dry and wit like dead wood. I can no longer feel the thin coat of fibres all across the slender stick, they have matted themselves into pricks. What was once crisp fresh leaves are now rubbers in green. You killed them. Its breathtaking yellow petals curled into one another. They are all preparing on what's to come. Pure death. The faith you designed for them. Your existence is now toxic to me. You have turned everything that I ever loved before you into hatred. I will never see my once favourite flower with joy. All I will see is you. The one I despise. You gave me yellow sunflowers, I acknowledged them but repelled their presence; You gave me loyalty, I swept their ashes into a flower pot. I only sympathise for the blossom, crumbling as it is wedged between us. It meta...

Good evening from a warm and sticky climate place on Earth! And- Happy (Belated. Haha.) Chinese New Year! Hope that this year will be a prosperous year, and all the cliché Chinese New Year wishes. Most importantly, be healthy and safe. Over the weekends, I got a brand new phone. That's right. It's brand new. I had never owned a phone that isn't second handed. A new phone feels so fragile, with no scratches and screen protector, it's like holding a newborn baby. I feel terribly bad for not posting in a while, therefore I feel like this platform deserves to know more about the depths of my mind. Just a few minutes ago, I went through my photo gallery and found some pictures that I thought I had deleted. The pictures, they bring back memories that I don't want to retain, but as I looked closely, that moment when the picture was taken, it was such a sweet and comfortable phase in my time. I never thought I'd be one to share about a breakup publicly. It isn...

Hello! I originally wanted to post another deep and heavy context blog today, but I cut off the plan as I needed some sort of cheeriness here. Things just doesn't seem too good for me these couple of days, and I wanted to lighten my mood up and hopefully brighten you with this post as well. So, here are all the stuff that I am enjoying at the moment. - Favourite Youtubers I am a Youtube-watcher FREAK. I watch Youtube videos 80% of my day, and have been doing that since I was fourteen. That's a good four years there. The list of my favourite Youtubers (let's be frank, I can't possibly pick my ALL TIME favourite one) changes all the time, but with that being said, these are the people whom I have been utterly obsessing over their contents at the moment.  Lilsimsie - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_TYFButglZuuDbD-0Q_IzQ            The Sims 4 is definitely one of my favourite games, and it just so happens that The Sims community on Youtube is f...

This moment for me is like any other moments when your mind decides to surge in all the tasks you have done for the past few weeks, and you can't help but feel a little something-something, and somewhere within you is itching to write it all down, even though, most times no words can describe that silent emotion. I guess this is me after a work day - all pooped out from socializing, regardless on how 'embarrassing' or 'smooth' the interactions were -, my mind settles into a foreign calm zone. Oh yeah, this hasn't changed and it's been more than a year. Telemarketing is.. okay. I don't hate it, but it's not something I would consider doing for a long-term. It's draining, mentally. In that cold air tight room and all I do is sit on the office chair and dial numbers, well, only if I'm productive. The response that clip out from every customer's lips does get repetitive. The ones that stood out clearly to me, are the ones that either hurt...

Growing up, I had been an extremely soft speaker. I remember teachers and elders would scrunch their eyebrows and lean their ears towards me whenever I had squeaked out an inaudible of mumble of answer. That doesn't happen to me anymore. Instead, I have to attempt to lower down my voice when I am talking to them. “What I hate about Christy the most?” One of my friends repeated the question in a The Answer Is Simple tone. “That's easy! It's the fact that I can barely hear anything she ever says.” Based on true experience. Through years of being told that I have a quiet voice, the statement did not offend me a single bit. It was a part of me that I accepted, though it annoyed some others. I embraced my gentle vocal anatomy, and I was even proud enough to say that it contributed to my innocently dumb and ignorant, Snow White-esque nature at that time. And then, college came along, rolling in endless assignments, group-works and presentations. It was not a problem for...

(I am not good with Old English.) Hi... Hello- heyy, oh that’s it, who am I trying impress? I am awful with greetings and introductions - something I am able to judge myself from years of ‘public speaking’, assignment presentations and giving polite acknowledgements to elders. Yes, note the quotation mark on ‘public speaking’, and hopefully, one day I can have the balls- I meant, the right frame of mind to explain the floaty symbols I direct whenever I speak of that phrase. An introduction to my new blog… Right, which brain cell of mine was responsible for coming out with this idea? My head is full of knots and tangles, forcing a smooth eloquent paragraph to spill out of my brain-hole. It’s not going on as well as I had idealized, if you haven’t noticed. This leads me to wonder if anyone will ever want to follow and read the articles of assorted rambles posted by this jug of repulsion-and-brainfart cocktail on her blog. If you’re still reading this, I can bow down and salute ...