Worried and Annoyed
Good evening from a warm and sticky climate place on Earth! And- Happy (Belated. Haha.) Chinese New Year! Hope that this year will be a prosperous year, and all the cliché Chinese New Year wishes. Most importantly, be healthy and safe.
Over the weekends, I got a brand new phone. That's right. It's brand new. I had never owned a phone that isn't second handed. A new phone feels so fragile, with no scratches and screen protector, it's like holding a newborn baby.
I feel terribly bad for not posting in a while, therefore I feel like this platform deserves to know more about the depths of my mind. Just a few minutes ago, I went through my photo gallery and found some pictures that I thought I had deleted. The pictures, they bring back memories that I don't want to retain, but as I looked closely, that moment when the picture was taken, it was such a sweet and comfortable phase in my time.
I never thought I'd be one to share about a breakup publicly. It isn't my nature to want to speak up about issues that relate to interpersonal emotions.
When I initiated the break, I knew I'd hurt the other half awfully. We weren't on bad terms, nor did we ever argue. Perhaps that's why I lost the chemistry, there were no fights that I'd urge to win against. And maybe that was why I became unhappy, it felt stagnant and created more unnecessary feelings to conquer unhealthily, even the optimistic talks from him didn't help it.
I've always been pretty good at kicking people off my head, so he was no exception. When the relationship snapped in half, I got over the person almost immediately. He, as an open feeler, didn't handle it the same way. It got me worried. I don't know how impactful it was to the other. As much as I wanted to break free, I didn't want to be the reason he relapses. I didn't want the effect of the breakup to be the cause of his drunken nights and rash decisions. Yet, how is that supposed to be under my control? How is that my responsibility, in a way?
Ending the relationship was never meant to be a win-win situation.
I should have expected him to be more active on social media afterwards. For who knows what reason. I have noticed the silent signs. I have read the little notes. It got me really concerned, and eventually, it turned annoying.
I can't comment much. Maybe it's a way for him to feel relief. Maybe it's the only thing that makes him smile in a day. If that's the case, I am not against his way of expressing his thoughts at all. Frankly, as of right now, it seems like an attention seeking bug and a little too extra. Kind of creepy as well, I can't lie.
See, it was the best for us to separate ways. We couldn't handle each other. I never let the notion to slip out when we were together. I thought that it was a sin to admit it. Still, I didn't want him to change for who he is. Someone can love his sensitive side, and be less annoyed with it than I do.
Alright, it's time for obnoxious me to go to sleep.
Over the weekends, I got a brand new phone. That's right. It's brand new. I had never owned a phone that isn't second handed. A new phone feels so fragile, with no scratches and screen protector, it's like holding a newborn baby.
I feel terribly bad for not posting in a while, therefore I feel like this platform deserves to know more about the depths of my mind. Just a few minutes ago, I went through my photo gallery and found some pictures that I thought I had deleted. The pictures, they bring back memories that I don't want to retain, but as I looked closely, that moment when the picture was taken, it was such a sweet and comfortable phase in my time.
I never thought I'd be one to share about a breakup publicly. It isn't my nature to want to speak up about issues that relate to interpersonal emotions.
When I initiated the break, I knew I'd hurt the other half awfully. We weren't on bad terms, nor did we ever argue. Perhaps that's why I lost the chemistry, there were no fights that I'd urge to win against. And maybe that was why I became unhappy, it felt stagnant and created more unnecessary feelings to conquer unhealthily, even the optimistic talks from him didn't help it.
I've always been pretty good at kicking people off my head, so he was no exception. When the relationship snapped in half, I got over the person almost immediately. He, as an open feeler, didn't handle it the same way. It got me worried. I don't know how impactful it was to the other. As much as I wanted to break free, I didn't want to be the reason he relapses. I didn't want the effect of the breakup to be the cause of his drunken nights and rash decisions. Yet, how is that supposed to be under my control? How is that my responsibility, in a way?
Ending the relationship was never meant to be a win-win situation.
I should have expected him to be more active on social media afterwards. For who knows what reason. I have noticed the silent signs. I have read the little notes. It got me really concerned, and eventually, it turned annoying.
I can't comment much. Maybe it's a way for him to feel relief. Maybe it's the only thing that makes him smile in a day. If that's the case, I am not against his way of expressing his thoughts at all. Frankly, as of right now, it seems like an attention seeking bug and a little too extra. Kind of creepy as well, I can't lie.
See, it was the best for us to separate ways. We couldn't handle each other. I never let the notion to slip out when we were together. I thought that it was a sin to admit it. Still, I didn't want him to change for who he is. Someone can love his sensitive side, and be less annoyed with it than I do.
Alright, it's time for obnoxious me to go to sleep.
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